Assalamu'alaikum..
It’s 12.00 am WIB (Waktu Indonesia Bego) -,- as usual.
I hate myself, that’s the point. If you see me now; I’m wearing a hoodie jacket, t-shirt, long-pant, and still, my glasses. Others who accompany my gloomy night are William (my laptop), Andro (my cell.phone), Evdo (my modem), and Usagi (the pointer). Silly ha? Yaaaa... they are my besties J friends ever after :D I don’t remember when they come to my life exactly.. But they are so kind –“
Ok, you have met my best fellas ;D then you’ll say that my English is not istiqomah -,- no British not yet U.S. , and yet sometimes I speak in Bahasa Indonesia. Is it confusing? Yes, of course it is ß as an English Department student, I’m telling you that this is an example of the correct English (the formal English).
I’m CONFUSED, just like my English, CONFUSING. So I won’t let you follow my confusion J I will tell you something, maybe it is something that you feel too, something ordinary, my problem since I grew up as a teenager.
I won’t call myself a woman, no, I’m not. But I hate to call myself a teenager :/ please don’t tell me a teenager! I’m 21 years old and getting confused L why?
Please mind my bad behavior; I’m rude, I’m spontaneous, I’m arrogant, I’m not good in management.
But would you be so kind to notice the nice Tara? J I’m honest, I’m creative, I’m thoughtful, I’m beautiful ;) thank you.... you told me about that...
I’m an author, you know that? No.. no not at this blog! I work J writing is my job :D what things I write? Hmmmmmm..... later today now, some of things. Am I happy for this? Ya -,- ya I don’t know (I mean).
Honestly baby, I recognized my ability to write since I was a pretty child J But then I lost it when I started growing. Being a teenager is something bad for me :/ why? I was starting to loose my beautiful mind since that period (oooohh the arrogance comes).
When I was a child, my dad managed me well. I had to do my homework after school, then prepare the stuffs that I would bring on the next day at night. My father always ask me to be discipline, I never be late at school. Even when I was in Senior High School, when my friends dressed up like pemain sinetron to school, I went to school with my ordinary blouse and skirt. My father hate someone neko-neko -,-
But then.. my life started to be destroyed (drama). Heheh, it’s not about something serious actually, but it’s serious :/ IT IS SERIOUS. My father is nice, trust me. Although he loves to ngamuk-ngamuk :/ but he is successful having three nice daughters J we love ourselves because of God, us, and our mommy and daddy. I never had a relationship when I was in high school –“ poor ha? NO! That’s cool o,Ob about the serious thing, it’s about being discipline :/ God, I’ve lost this precious thing.
Do I need a military treatment? A big NO! What I need, who I need is a guidance J I’m afraid of my father when I was a child, sometimes he’s galak. Even when I learned how to ride a bike and fell down, he asked me to raise up by myself and just watch –“ what a cruel daddy. But he has been my guidance, instead of God and Al Qur’anul-Kariim.
But he has to stop being my guidance, or he has stopped, already. He never ngamuk-ngamuk anymore related to my scores at campus. He never avoids me to have a relationship anymore. HE NEVER MANAGE ME ANYMORE.
My father realizes that I was an adult now (really?). I’m free to choose and I have to take the responsibilities :/ but that looks so bad for me..
I need a guidance, really. My father? NO! Analyzing my father gives me a good point of view of life, that you need to be discipline even there is no instructor. I need to be discipline even without my father. He ever asked me, “How will you face the world without me? ". Owww... I’m starting to cry right now ;( tell me how will?
I’m a nice girl, trust me. Honestly I’m nice. Actually it’s easy to touch my heart, to make me cry and get my sympathy. But it’s hard for me to show people that I’m nice. In short, I don’t know how to manage ME.
Honestly, I realize that I often do something wrong. But the worst thing is I keep walk on the wrong way -,- B to the A to the D = BAD
So, tell me! Please tell me how to manage ME? Especially to work and study -,- such a big problem for me L why? Because it will make many people disappointed L I’ll be a bad girl for it. Neoooowwww.....!!!!
So, in this entry , would like to say HI, I’M A CONFUSED GIRL AND I’LL TELL YOU THE PRECIOUS THING I’LL FOUND AFTER THIS CONFUSION.. SEE YOU ON THE DAY..
I hate myself, that’s the point. If you see me now; I’m wearing a hoodie jacket, t-shirt, long-pant, and still, my glasses. Others who accompany my gloomy night are William (my laptop), Andro (my cell.phone), Evdo (my modem), and Usagi (the pointer). Silly ha? Yaaaa... they are my besties J friends ever after :D I don’t remember when they come to my life exactly.. But they are so kind –“
Ok, you have met my best fellas ;D then you’ll say that my English is not istiqomah -,- no British not yet U.S. , and yet sometimes I speak in Bahasa Indonesia. Is it confusing? Yes, of course it is ß as an English Department student, I’m telling you that this is an example of the correct English (the formal English).
I’m CONFUSED, just like my English, CONFUSING. So I won’t let you follow my confusion J I will tell you something, maybe it is something that you feel too, something ordinary, my problem since I grew up as a teenager.
I won’t call myself a woman, no, I’m not. But I hate to call myself a teenager :/ please don’t tell me a teenager! I’m 21 years old and getting confused L why?
Please mind my bad behavior; I’m rude, I’m spontaneous, I’m arrogant, I’m not good in management.
But would you be so kind to notice the nice Tara? J I’m honest, I’m creative, I’m thoughtful, I’m beautiful ;) thank you.... you told me about that...
I’m an author, you know that? No.. no not at this blog! I work J writing is my job :D what things I write? Hmmmmmm..... later today now, some of things. Am I happy for this? Ya -,- ya I don’t know (I mean).
Honestly baby, I recognized my ability to write since I was a pretty child J But then I lost it when I started growing. Being a teenager is something bad for me :/ why? I was starting to loose my beautiful mind since that period (oooohh the arrogance comes).
When I was a child, my dad managed me well. I had to do my homework after school, then prepare the stuffs that I would bring on the next day at night. My father always ask me to be discipline, I never be late at school. Even when I was in Senior High School, when my friends dressed up like pemain sinetron to school, I went to school with my ordinary blouse and skirt. My father hate someone neko-neko -,-
But then.. my life started to be destroyed (drama). Heheh, it’s not about something serious actually, but it’s serious :/ IT IS SERIOUS. My father is nice, trust me. Although he loves to ngamuk-ngamuk :/ but he is successful having three nice daughters J we love ourselves because of God, us, and our mommy and daddy. I never had a relationship when I was in high school –“ poor ha? NO! That’s cool o,Ob about the serious thing, it’s about being discipline :/ God, I’ve lost this precious thing.
Do I need a military treatment? A big NO! What I need, who I need is a guidance J I’m afraid of my father when I was a child, sometimes he’s galak. Even when I learned how to ride a bike and fell down, he asked me to raise up by myself and just watch –“ what a cruel daddy. But he has been my guidance, instead of God and Al Qur’anul-Kariim.
But he has to stop being my guidance, or he has stopped, already. He never ngamuk-ngamuk anymore related to my scores at campus. He never avoids me to have a relationship anymore. HE NEVER MANAGE ME ANYMORE.
My father realizes that I was an adult now (really?). I’m free to choose and I have to take the responsibilities :/ but that looks so bad for me..
I need a guidance, really. My father? NO! Analyzing my father gives me a good point of view of life, that you need to be discipline even there is no instructor. I need to be discipline even without my father. He ever asked me, “How will you face the world without me? ". Owww... I’m starting to cry right now ;( tell me how will?
I’m a nice girl, trust me. Honestly I’m nice. Actually it’s easy to touch my heart, to make me cry and get my sympathy. But it’s hard for me to show people that I’m nice. In short, I don’t know how to manage ME.
Honestly, I realize that I often do something wrong. But the worst thing is I keep walk on the wrong way -,- B to the A to the D = BAD
So, tell me! Please tell me how to manage ME? Especially to work and study -,- such a big problem for me L why? Because it will make many people disappointed L I’ll be a bad girl for it. Neoooowwww.....!!!!
So, in this entry , would like to say HI, I’M A CONFUSED GIRL AND I’LL TELL YOU THE PRECIOUS THING I’LL FOUND AFTER THIS CONFUSION.. SEE YOU ON THE DAY..
hate to see my face!
*written by miss Tara Filliana a day before this entry was posted
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