My Fabulous Day

السلام عليكم

Thank u for the birthday wishes

Prima, Shinta, and me


this is daddy's youngest daughter, Elsa



Well, c u fellas :D thank you for reading this entry!

H-1

السلام عليكم

Ini H-1, barusan mati lampu. Sebenarnya saya tak tau harus menulis apa. Tadi siang banyak kalimat yang bisa ditulis yang berputar-putar di otak, tapi tadi saya pusing, lalu tidur siang.

*written by miss Tara Filliana one day before her birthday

H-2

السلام عليكم

Fellows

H-3

السلام عليكم

Entry ini kado ulang tahun untuk saya sendiri :b saya benci ulang tahun! Di tulis dalam bahasa Indonesia agar segenap rakyat Indonesia memahami point of view saya. Ini H-3, sebenarnya kemarin sudah ada entry, salahnya saya ketik di handphone, dan handphone saya baru saya install ulang –“ hilang seketika.

Entry kemarin itu sangat dramatis dan lengkap, sayang raib –“

Tidak apa-apa, saya orang yg tawakkal (: meskipun labil, saya orang yg hampir tak pernah complain pada Tuhan.

Ini cerita setahun terakhir ini, saya ingat sekali tahun lalu sangat tidak menyenangkan. Mungkin tepat hari ini atau 2 hari lalu, setahun lalu, saya putus dari pacar terbaik di dunia (: dan mami cuma bilang,”try to find someone better..” dengan ekspresi datar (: mami akan sidang thesis bulan depan, insyaAllah.

Setahun lalu, di hari ulang tahun saya, saya pergi ke Surabaya sendiri, naik bus. Itu beberapa hari setelah putus dari pacar, dan dia tak bilang apa pun di hari ulang tahun itu, hanya sekitar 6 panggilan tak terjawab (: maaf, silent mode, tahun ini tidak lagi, semacam menghargai orang-orang yg punya atensi pada ulang tahun saya, meskipun saya sendiri tidak.

Setahun lalu, itu hari yg sedih. Sampai di Surabaya hanya ada ibu Sri, penjaga kos. Di hari ulang tahun itu, seperti biasa, saya menghibur diri sendiri. Saya balas semua wall ucapan selamat ulang tahun di FB. Saya orang yg acuh sebenarnya, dan kurang atensi pada orang lain. Itu buruk, jangan ditiru!

Baru-baru ini saja saya mulai belajar tentang attention, itu kata yang penting (: saya dikelilingi orang-orang yang sayang dan perhatian pada saya waktu itu, sayang saya tak tau terimakasih. Me review semua kurang saya, saya sadar masalah utama saya adalah diri saya sendiri, bukan orang lain.

Jika pernah berkunjung kesini, mungkin pernah membaca entry “I need a guidance”. Tuhan sedang membimbing saya saat ini, menyodorkan cermin, menyuruh saya melihat diri sendiri, diri sendiri saja dulu. Saya pandangi cermin itu, disana ada gadis 21 tahun yg biasa dimanja ibunya dan dimarahi ayahnya karena masih manja, iya, masih sering dimarahi, anak kecil.

Figur ayah ada di mantan pacar, pacar terbaik di dunia, yg kalau diminta putus langsung ada di depan rumah, tak peduli jarak dan waktu *efek (drama). Iya, ini serius, dia itu suka bolak-balik demi saya. Heheh, sayang sayanya biasa aja, saya memang pacar paling buruk di galaxy (:

Review dia sebentar, dia memang baik, tapi bukan yg terbaik. Saya sudah sampai final dengannya, insyaAllah. Tapi dari dia saya belajar atensi, sadar kalau saya bukan pribadi yg baik. Mungkin memang harus lewat dia saya sadar, jodoh itu sepadan. Saya tempramen sekali dulu, lalu dia datang dengan sikap dan sifat yg lebih mengerikan *efek lagi (drama). Saya seperti bercermin, saya seperti diberitau sesuatu yg selama ini orang-orang disekeliling saya sembunyikan karena tidak ingin menyakiti perasaan saya. Heheh, kalian salah, asal caranya benar, saya tidak marah kalau dikritik. Sejak saat itu, saya sungguh mencoba untuk tau diri.

Ini H-3, ini pengulangan :b ini H-3. Seharusnya setiap orang gelisah setiap mereka ulang tahun. Me review apa yg berbeda dari tahun lalu, buat saya, bodoh saja kalau masih sama setiap tahunnya. Ada apa? Pesta? Guys, itu sungguh useless. Berpestalah kalau memang ada perbaikan dalam diri dan hidupmu, semacam belanjalah pakaian asal tetap ber zakat dan sodaqoh. Saya berhutang pada seorang sahabat dan aunty untuk pengetahuan zakat ini (:

Saya 21 tahun, sedang menghitung hari menuju 22 tahun yg sepertinya indah. Seperti handphone saya yg direstart ulang, hidup saya akan saya restart. Seharusnya memang begitu, karena ada masanya manusia khilaf dan lupa apa saja yg sudang dimasukkan “daftar perbaikan”.
Harusnya manusia sedih setiap ulang tahun, disamping mereka bahagia karena umur banyak menunjukkan Tuhan memberi mereka banyak kesempatan. Tapi ini, yg sedang saya bicarakan ini, ini tentang bagaimana menggunakan kesempatan itu (: bagaimana menyelaraskan pola pikir saya ini dengan action. Ini sulit.

Saya sering memandang ayah atau ibu saya secara tak sengaja. Mereka menua, dan saya anak pertama. Saya sulung dari 3 bersaudara yg semuanya perempuan, tapi paling manja. Buruk, jangan ditiru!

Mungkin saya memang mandiri dalam beberapa hal, tapi manja dalam banyak hal. Saya kadang prefer diri saya sewaktu di Surabaya. Saya pergi kemana-mana sendiri, tak ada teman belanja tak masalah. Beberapa orang geleng-geleng, yang lain maklum. Saya tak ingat mulai kapan, tapi saya benar-benar sering sendiri. While selama di Kediri, kerjaan saya hanya main kesana kemari bersama teman-teman, anak durhaka.

Ini masih H-3, pengulangan ; H-3. Saya sangat berharap setelah 27 Juni besok akan ada pribadi yg lebih baik dari hari ini, dan semakin baik ke depannya. Ini akan jadi kado yg precious kalau Tuhan sudi membantu saya memperbaiki diri, Tuhan bicara padamu melalui tiap-tiap kejadian. Bohong kalau saya bilang Tuhan tak pernah menyapa saya. Dia says “hi” tiap subuh, membangunkan dan minta saya menghadap dan bicara sebentar. Dia mengucapkan selamat tidur setelah isya’ atau shalat malam. Dia memberi kesempatan untuk make a wish tentang rizki atau mungkin jodoh saat duha. Dia ada dalam setiap hari saya, sayang kadang saya ini acuh tak karuan. Manusia.

Setahun terakhir ini saya merasa mengenal Tuhan dengan baik, melalui apa pun dan siapa pun yg saya temui. Semua pertemuan di dunia ini adalah jodoh, dan saya tak pernah menyesalinya. Hidup ini indah-indah saja sebenarnya kalau ada syukur. Jujur, saya bukan orang yg ambisius kalau mau mengenal saya. Cita-cita saya sederhana, kalau diijinkan, setelah lulus kuliah S1 ini saya ingin tinggal di Kediri saja. Saya buang jauh-jauh cita-cita ke luar negeri, atau kerja di kota besar. Ayah saya sakit jantung, ibu saya menua. Selama ini saya kurang berguna di rumah ini, saya hanya peduli pada diri sendiri. Jangan ditiru!

Bukan maksud saya menjelek-jelekkan diri sendiri disini, maksud saya lain. Ini demi kemaslahatan umat *mulai (drama). Ada teman saya menjuluki saya dengan julukan panjang ; tara miss honeybee supershopaholic ; the drama queen. Iya, memang. Pasti miss honeybee diambil karna saya manis *mulai (congkak). Super shopaholic karna setiap mampir toko, ada saja yg saya beli. The drama queen, pasti karna selalu mendramatisir. Maaf, ini bakat dari lahir (: ini berkah.

Saya hanya ingin orang-orang tau kalau saya bukan sok paling OK. Mungkin saya kadang being rude, tapi itu disebut “khilaf”. Saya manusia biasa, sangat biasa, yg suka tampil luar biasa :b tampilan, ini masalahnya, tampilan itu kadang tak berarti tanpa isi yg penuh arti (: saya merasa saya tak berarti sekarang.

Ini H-3, repetition. Itu ayah saya, sedang berpikir kalau saya sedang mengetik chapter III skripsi :b jadi ini bersambung, sebelum evdo di rampas dari tangan ababil. Semoga setiap hari semakin baik (:

>>> to be continued




*written by miss Tara Filliana 3 days before her 22th birthday

On Hafidz's Day

السلام عليكم

Today, we celebrate Hafidz’s birthday at a Fishing Center. Hafidz is my nephew, he’s 6 years old now. He’s smart and hilarious. The opposite, is Ia. We call her kaka Ia. She’s about 6 years old. Ia is also my nephew, but she’s from Jakarta. Her mom is my cousin, and she’s having holiday in Kediri now.

I’ve just realized that Ia, my beloved nephew is different from others. She never answers someone’s greeting, and also she’s easy to get mad. Actually, I was surprised about how Ia behaved when I met her for the first time after our last meeting several years ago.

As good as I remember, she was my lovely nephew, she was very pretty. Ia is a little girl with her fair skin, red lips, and beautiful eyes. When I made up myself, she was very interested in, following how I do the make up. She was cheerful and beautiful, she’s my snow white.

But today, I see something different with her. Why? What’s wrong with the princess? Her mom told me that she hates to enter the class and prefer to sit down on the school’s stairs, that’s bad. She hates when people try to take her picture also, she will get mad or even cry all the time. The worst thing she did was, she hit her sister chest, Ais. Ais just drank her drink, but she got mad and hit Ais immediately, ooh child..

Reviewing her childhood, since she was born about 6 years ago until now, I know what the matter is. Ia’s mom and dad are very busy people, her mom works in a bank, while her dad works in a company. Ia usually spends her time with baby sitter since her birth. In short, Ia needs more attention from her parents.

Related to my nephew’s story, there is a statement comes from Dr Terri Apter, the psychologist of Cambridge University says, ”Every baby was born without knowing how to control his/her emotion, they learn about emotion from their happiness and sadness.”

What’s the matter? The psychologist gives further explanation which says that mom needs to be more responsive, whether her attention for her child is enough or not. Apter also adds, ”A responsive mom doesn’t only know about when the attention should be given, but it’s more about giving a gap between mother and children relationships."

Back to my lovely nephew, all she needs is just love. She’s the figure that I don’t want to have in the future. Being a career woman is good, but being a good mother is better. I know my cousin has given her best for the children, but what Ia faces is something serious, even she needs a therapy for this. This suggestion is for me also, no matter what your job, no matter whether you are a housewife or a career woman, take care of your children. Because I ever found a housewife who didn’t do her job well as a wife and mother. Life is the same sometimes, it depends on how you face it.

Hafidz's b'day cake, please mind the destroyed cake, the children destroyed it --"

In-Section, because there are my fellas in my life's section

Assalamu'alaikum..

I attended my friends' occassion yesterday. The grand opening of Inception Cloth Kediri :)
The shop sells some brands such as petersaysdenim,Afends,Rockmen,Inception99

Tara, Ronald, Ony, Eggy

Minie, my best fella

The gangsta ;D hahah

I Need A Guidance

Assalamu'alaikum..

It’s 12.00 am WIB (Waktu Indonesia Bego) -,- as usual.

I hate myself, that’s the point. If you see me now; I’m wearing a hoodie jacket, t-shirt, long-pant, and still, my glasses. Others who accompany my gloomy night are William (my laptop), Andro (my cell.phone), Evdo (my modem), and Usagi (the pointer). Silly ha? Yaaaa... they are my besties J friends ever after :D I don’t remember when they come to my life exactly.. But they are so kind –“

Ok, you have met my best fellas ;D then you’ll say that my English is not istiqomah -,- no British not yet U.S. , and yet sometimes I speak in Bahasa Indonesia. Is it confusing? Yes, of course it is ß as an English Department student, I’m telling you that this is an example of the correct English (the formal English).

I’m CONFUSED, just like my English, CONFUSING. So I won’t let you follow my confusion J I will tell you something, maybe it is something that you feel too, something ordinary, my problem since I grew up as a teenager.

I won’t call myself a woman, no, I’m not. But I hate to call myself a teenager :/ please don’t tell me a teenager! I’m 21 years old and getting confused L why?

Please mind my bad behavior; I’m rude, I’m spontaneous, I’m arrogant, I’m not good in management.

But would you be so kind to notice the nice Tara? J I’m honest, I’m creative, I’m thoughtful, I’m beautiful ;) thank you.... you told me about that...

I’m an author, you know that? No.. no not at this blog! I work J writing is my job :D what things I write? Hmmmmmm..... later today now, some of things. Am I happy for this? Ya -,- ya I don’t know (I mean).

Honestly baby, I recognized my ability to write since I was a pretty child J But then I lost it when I started growing. Being a teenager is something bad for me :/ why? I was starting to loose my beautiful mind since that period (oooohh the arrogance comes).

When I was a child, my dad managed me well. I had to do my homework after school, then prepare the stuffs that I would bring on the next day at night. My father always ask me to be discipline, I never be late at school. Even when I was in Senior High School, when my friends dressed up like pemain sinetron to school, I went to school with my ordinary blouse and skirt. My father hate someone neko-neko -,-

But then.. my life started to be destroyed (drama). Heheh, it’s not about something serious actually, but it’s serious :/ IT IS SERIOUS. My father is nice, trust me. Although he loves to ngamuk-ngamuk :/ but he is successful having three nice daughters J we love ourselves because of God, us, and our mommy and daddy. I never had a relationship when I was in high school –“ poor ha? NO! That’s cool o,Ob about the serious thing, it’s about being discipline :/ God, I’ve lost this precious thing.

Do I need a military treatment? A big NO! What I need, who I need is a guidance J I’m afraid of my father when I was a child, sometimes he’s galak. Even when I learned how to ride a bike and fell down, he asked me to raise up by myself and just watch –“ what a cruel daddy. But he has been my guidance, instead of God and Al Qur’anul-Kariim.

But he has to stop being my guidance, or he has stopped, already. He never ngamuk-ngamuk anymore related to my scores at campus. He never avoids me to have a relationship anymore. HE NEVER MANAGE ME ANYMORE.

My father realizes that I was an adult now (really?). I’m free to choose and I have to take the responsibilities :/ but that looks so bad for me..

I need a guidance, really. My father? NO! Analyzing my father gives me a good point of view of life, that you need to be discipline even there is no instructor. I need to be discipline even without my father. He ever asked me, “How will you face the world without me? ". Owww... I’m starting to cry right now ;( tell me how will?

I’m a nice girl, trust me. Honestly I’m nice. Actually it’s easy to touch my heart, to make me cry and get my sympathy. But it’s hard for me to show people that I’m nice. In short, I don’t know how to manage ME.

Honestly, I realize that I often do something wrong. But the worst thing is I keep walk on the wrong way -,- B to the A to the D = BAD

So, tell me! Please tell me how to manage ME? Especially to work and study -,- such a big problem for me L why? Because it will make many people disappointed L I’ll be a bad girl for it. Neoooowwww.....!!!!

So, in this entry , would like to say HI, I’M A CONFUSED GIRL AND I’LL TELL YOU THE PRECIOUS THING I’LL FOUND AFTER THIS CONFUSION.. SEE YOU ON THE DAY..

hate to see my face!

*written by miss Tara Filliana a day before this entry was posted

The Syar'i Headdress

Assalamu'alaikum..

............................




Are you asking about these looks?

(my sister, Rosa)



Introducing HEADDRESS----> yaaaaa or Indonesian people usually call it "ciput ninja" just like the people call SKINNY-JEANS by celana pensil --" whatever




I really thanks to this headdress :) as you know that my face is............................

>>>
BULAT

what are you starring at? ha? :/


This headdress will help you to have a pretty look. For those who have bulat faces like me, I suggest you to buy this stuff. Meanwhile, this headdress is syar'i. See how long it is! It wraps all parts of your head (excluding your face, of course -,-) and yet your neck. Nice ha? :D
but the arabian headdress may be different





FYI, I found the headdress on Facebook, then I bought 4 pieces of the headdress on Butik Mungil


but I got this pic by googling :b





ok, see you headdressers ;)